StJohncanet

INTRODUCTION:
The effects of incest and child sexual abuse are awesome and profound. They range from psychological, emotional and health to spiritual consequences, caused by all forms of sexual abuse in children and young people. Nowadays however, incest and child sexual abuse is more destructive and perverted in every ramification of the word, and it involves almost every age and gender of humanity. The baby girls are sexually abused by their fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins and grandfathers. The baby boys are sexually abused by their mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins and grandmothers. Older children are encouraged in this evil act with younger brothers and sisters by their parents. What a shameful taboo. These are not without grave consequences. But before we get into such consequences, let us have the definitions and explanations of this great evil in the human society.

WHAT IS INCEST PER SE’?

The word “incest” originated from the classic Latin word “incestum’ meaning “moral sin”. “Incest” is the neuter noun of the Latin “incestus” which means “impure”, “unchaste”, from “in-“ (not) + “castus” (chaste); that is “not chaste”. It means a “sexual sin”.

The English Dictionary (Collins) defines incest as sexual relationship between people classed as being too closely related to marry each other. It is the crime of having sexual intercourse between a parent, child, sibling, or grandchild.

The Catholic Dictionary defines it as: “Sexual intercourse between those who are related by blood or marriage, and whom the church forbids to marry. It is a sin against chastity and the virtue of piety or reverence due to those closely related to us. Between parent and child, brother and sister, it is also a crime against nature” (Etym).

It is the crime of sexual intercourse, cohabitation or marriage between persons within the degree of consanguinity, or affinity wherein marriage is legally forbidden. (Dictionary.com).

There are two words in the last definition that need to be explained here to help us follow up as we move on. They are:

COHABITATION AND CONSANGUINITY:

COHABITATION:

Cohabitation is the state of living together and having a sexual relationship without being married. It is an arrangement wherein two people who are not married live together. They often involve in romantic or sexual intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis.

For the catholic and Christianity in general cohabitation includes living together as husband and wife without duly weeding in the church. It is taken as a grave sin even when the two have married according to the Customary Rites.

Even in the Traditional or Customary setting, if two people – male and female – are living together without performing the Traditional Marriage Rites of their people, they are believed to be cohabiting, and any child born out of such relationship is seen as a “Bastard”, especially if the Bride Price is not paid over the woman. In some Cultures, the child is rejected; being seen as a “Bastard” and every “Bastard” has a curse on him or her as a result of being born out of

“Wedlock”. But in some they are accepted and they bear the name of the girl’s father.  This is a case for another setting.

CONSANGUINITY:

Consanguinity is from the Latin word “consanguinitas” which means “Blood Relation”.

According to Wikipedia, “Consanguinity” “is the property of being from the same kingship as another person. In that aspect, consanguinity is the quality of being descended from the same kinship as another person. The laws of many cultures set out degrees of consanguinity in relation to prohibited sexual relationship and marriage parties” (Wikipedia).

For instance, at the beginning of Canon law the Catholic Canon followed the Roman Civil Law on Consanguinity which held on the 4^th Degree or Generation relations. But the Church later went up to 7^th Generation Relations. This posed a great difficulty to the youths aspiring for marriage, in their choice for partners. This led most of them out of their state and Religion as they searched for matching partners.

For this reasons, in 1215, during the Council of Trent, the church had to come down to 4^th Degree again, which affected Disparity and Nullity of marriages as well. This 4^th Degree is where we are till date. *Disparity of cult, sometimes called disparity of worship is a diriment impediment in Roman Catholic Canon Law: a reason why a marriage cannot be validly contracted without a dispensation, stemming from one person being certainly baptized, and the other not baptized.

Thus the Church, like some other cultures re-defined the degree of consanguinity within which sexual interrelationships are regarded as incestuous: that is “The prohibited degree or Generations of kinship”.

This is why I have to explain consanguinity more here. Let us go back to our definition and explanation of our topic.

Catechism of the Catholic Church says of incest:

“Incest designates intimate relations between relations or in-laws within a degree that prohibits marriage between them. St. Paul stigmatizes this especially grave offence: ‘it is actually reported that there is immorality among you… for a man is living with his father’s wife… in the name of the Lord Jesus… you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh… Incest corrupts family relationships and marks a regression towards animality’ (CCC. 2388).

In 2389 it continues:

“Connected to incest is any sexual abuse perpetrated by adults on Children or adolescents entrusted to their care. The offence is compounded by the scandalous harm done to the physical and moral integrity of the young, who will remain scared by it all their lives, and the violation of responsibility for their upbringing” (CCC. 2389).

From these definitions we can understand more what incest is all about. It is very prevalent, and whilst the adults must reap the punishments due to these evils, it is the loss of innocence and heartbreak in those children who are silent victims that should break our hearts. What about those in the later generation that may suffer for what they know nothing about, as we may discover latter.

Incest is a profound form of child abuse, and one of the most devastating effects of child incest comes from the confusing consternation of feelings it creates, as we shall see later as we move on. At this point therefore, let us view the meaning of child sexual abuse as contained in this talk.

CHILD ABUSE:

Child abuse in general is a physical, sexual or psychological maltreatment or a neglect of a child or Children, especially by a parent or other caregivers. It includes any act or failure to act by a parent or other caregiver which results in actual or potential harm to a child, which can occur in the Childs home, school, Community, etc.

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE:

“Since the zist-in-laben” here is Child Sexual Abuse, let us get into its definition:

Child Sexual Abuse is “Forming or enticing a child or young people to take part in sexual activity, not necessarily involving in a high level of violence, whether or not the child is aware of what is happening.

The activity may involve physical contact, including assaults by penetration (eg rape or oral sex) or non-penetration acts such as masturbation, “sinful” Kissing, rubbing and touching outside of clothing. They may also include non-contact activities, such as: involving children in looking at, or in production of sexual images, watching sexual activities, encouraging children to behave in sexually inappropriate ways, or grooming a child in preparation for abuse, (including via internet). This would include prostitution and sexual exploitation of a child for commercial or financial gain (cf. DCSF-Department for children schools and families, 2010; USA).

From this definition, we discover that child sexual Abuse is categorized into Touching and Non-touching activities.

TOUCHING:

Touching includes:

1. Touching a child’s genital or private part for sexual pleasure.
2. Making a child touch someone else’s genital, encouraging a child to play sexual games or have sex, putting objects or body parts (like fingers, tongue or penis) inside the vagina, mouth or in anus of a child for sexual pleasure.

NON – TOUCHING ACTIVITY:

They are:

1. Showing pornography to a child.
2. Deliberately exposing adult genitals to a child.
3. Photographing a child in sexual poses.
4. Encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts.
5. Inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom.
6. Showing and, or viewing abused child in the internet. Etc.

Sexual Exploitation is complex in manifestation – gifts, accommodation, money, etc, in exchange for sexual activity, or for sexual acts performed on them.

With these definitions I believe that we have understood the two terms in this topic: INCEST AND CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE. Before going into the consequences of these evils, I deem it right to take us to what the Bible tells us about them, which forms indeed, the most fundamental evils of incest and child Abuse, and the spiritual root of all other evils that emanate from them, then why people indulge in these crimes, The distinctive Features of Incest Families. Finally the solutions to the problems, in form of Conclusion will follow after the Effects.

THE BIBLE AND THE SIN OF INCEST/CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

The first known sin of incest is in Gen.19:30-38. This is the story of how the two daughters of Lot made him drunk and laid with him, which resulted to pregnancies. The first gave birth to a son whom she named Moab, which means “of a father”. Moab is the Ancestor of the Moabites. The second gave birth to a son also, and called him “Ben-ammi”. “Ben-ammi” means “of my people”. He is the Ancestor of the Ammonites. They later joined the Canaanites, the greatest enemies of the people of God. They are antagonistic and rebellious. They do not like anything about God and His people; and some other negative characteristics which we shall discover as some of the features of a child of incest-one born outside wedlock, as we go on.

It is worth knowing that this evil idea that came into the daughters of Lot was as a result of Lot’s careless talk over them. In Gen.19:8, when the two angels sent to inspect Sodom before its destruction came to Lot in form of strangers. Lot welcomed them and waited on them; in the evening when the Sodomites gathered before his house and ordered him to bring out the two men that came to his house. Lot offered to give them his two virgin daughters to do with them whatever they wanted, instead of bringing out the men. Let us watch our tongues.

The two sons of Lot’s daughters acquired a curse as a result of the circumstances of their birth. Their curse is called “Curse of Bastard”. They were bastards before God because they were born outside marriage – wedlock. God does not approve of them. Thus in Deut. 23:2-3, the Lord God says: “Those born of an illicit union shall not be admitted into the assembly of the Lord. Even to the tenth generation none of their descendants shall be admitted to the assembly of the Lord” (Deut.23:2-3).

The distinctive marks of an Incest child or those who are into the Bastard Curse are: rejection, bitterness, rebellion and their likes. Incest itself shows a degraded mind that is unclean. An incest child is degenerated in moral. They do not like God and the people of God, nor like to do anything for the sake of God. This was why the Canaanites – with the Moabites and the Ammonites inclusive – hate the people of Israel.

In Leviticus18:1-30, the Lord laid down the laws governing sexual relations. He says to Moses: “I am the Lord your God. You shall not do as they do in the land of Egypt. You shall not do as they do in the land of Canaan to which I am bringing you” none of you shall approach anyone near of kin to uncover nakedness … for whoever commits any of these abominations shall be cut off from their people… (Let somebody read). When we read also Levi.20:17-22, we shall see more of the curses God pronounced against the sin of incest.

St Paul puts it more fearfully in 1cor.5:1-5 as he says: “it is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among Gentiles – that a man has his father’s wife… deliver such a one to Satan for destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the lord Jesus”. Read also 1cor.6:9.

In Matthew 5:17-18, Jesus says:

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law of the prophets; I come not to abolish, but to fulfill. For I tell you, until Heaven and Earth pass away, not one letter will pass from the law until all is accomplished”.

In Matt.18:6, Jesus says:

“But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large milestone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea”.

This is for those who may be thinking that the love and mercy of God in Christ Jesus have destroyed the justice of God, without proper repentance. But for those who may be touched from these, and they come to repentance, there is always the promise of forgiveness from the Lord, as He calls in Is.1:18 “come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be like snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool”.

Having explored the Biblical foundation of these concepts, let us now found out some of the reasons why people indulge in sins of incest and child sexual abuse.

WHY PEOPLE INDULGE IN THESE SEXUAL SINS:

Psychological research shows that repeated exposure turns a small physical attraction into a larger one. People often spend a lot of time around those who they are related to. This means that if there is even a smallest temptation or physical attraction, it can be expounded by a lot of time spent together. Some people do this without knowing of the consanguinity between the two.

I know of a couple who met themselves and fell in love. They became so fund of each other that when it was discovered that the duo are blood-relatives, and could not marry, they insisted. Despite all the traditional ways their people followed to cub the curse, they were still having deaths and miscarriages in their marriage, especially if the child was a baby boy. After all efforts, they ended up with two girls. The two parents are late now.

We are here however more concerned with the innocent children: parents and their children, children among themselves, cousins, uncles, aunts, in-laws, and other child-caregivers. Why is it going on, even on the increase?

• In terms of the age difference as pertains to some cases of incest, emotional attraction is complex and difficult to discern or understand. Some people are attracted to Innocence. While most of the society abhors it, there are people who experience inordinate attraction towards innocence, like the pedophile. But as I said, spiritually, it is demonic. It is the devil trying to destroy the innocence which attracts the presence and love of God in the child, or the virgin.

• In the area of parents, it is discovered that fathers are more attached to their daughters, while mothers are attached to their sons. It is like the law of opposites in physics. In most cases, a particular daughter becomes attracted to the father. The father becomes fond of her, and singles her out among the other girls in the house. If the man is loose and, or a drunkard, he may likely fall into this atrocious sin of incest. The worst is if the man is a womanizer; in the presence of the daughter, he may lose control. The same thing goes with the mother and boy pet in the family. It goes on too among the siblings.

• Somebody who has the sin of incest/child sexual abuse running through his or her family’s bloodline is prone to fall into the same sin of Incest and, or Child Sexual Abuse.

• Increase in cultism and ritualism in our society today catalysis the increase in the crimes of incest and, or child sexual abuse. As I said before, some cult groups demand that their members violate innocent children as part of their initiation processes, or as demand for the power, wealth or protection they seek from the god or goddess in charge of their cult. Some do demand the virgin blood of innocent children for money, power or protection. These increase the rate of the crime of Incest and child sexual abuse in the present day society. They demand this because this Innocence and purity are most applauded virtues that God requires of us. Our bodies are the temples of God. They try to destroy these temples of God as ridicules and insult against God. As they do this, they increase their captivity and control over the perpetrators of these abominable crimes, knowing fully that God has already laid a toxic curse against those who commit them, that they have been handed over to Satan once they commit the sins.

• Another reason is the reign of the social media – the internet and the cell phones. The young adolescents and the children are exposed to the evils of the world through the media. What used to be in the secret are now laid in the open to these innocent minds through the internet and the cell phones. These minds are corrupted, and are led to practice what they are seeing in the internet and the cell phones.

• The mad and inordinate exposure of the sex arousing body parts in the name of fashion. We know that what is thriving these days in form of fashions is sex provoking outfits, especially among our women of all ages. So when the debased minded males are viewing these mobile phonographs among the female counter parts, they get sexually provoked. When they could not get at those grownup ladies, they bounce on those around them to ease off the tension. This is the same thing with the female counter part. Since the fall of Adam and Eve, when they discovered that they were necked, and the difference between them, which made them to become ashamed, and covered their sensitive body parts which have developed to clothing, it is meant that those sex arousing parts should be covered. God made them to be magnetic to each other for the purpose of the “One Flesh” in marriage. This is why any exposure of such parts outside marriage is sinful and immoral.

Those among us who love to wear “cover just the buttocks” – either knickers, or skirt or browse -, or the “show the “bust”, “show Tommy”, and any other show body wears in form of fashion do not know how many sins they participate in outside there in the Society due to their efforts to follow the fashion of the time. I just want to remind such people of the word of Jesus in Lk. 17: 1-2; Mtt. 18: 6-7: “Temptation to sin must surely come. But woe to that person through whom they come…”

• Some people get into this crime as a curse or spell casted on them either because they de-virgined somebody’s daughter or slept with somebody’s wife. The man then laid a curse on the offender: “You will continue to do this, even to your own very blood”. Eg. …

• The last reason I am presenting here is the false preaching and belief that the love and mercy of God do not allow God to destroy any soul; that God does not count on our sins to punish us. This is deceitful and satanic. The God who created us without us will not save us without us. “The wedges of sin is death”.(Rom. 6:23). The mercy of God is for those who truly repent of their sins and ask for forgiveness. For those who refuse to turn away from their sins, God’s justice must prevail. This false belief makes sinners not to feel disturbed even in the depth of mortal sin.  For this those who indulge in the crime of incest and or Child sexual abuse are not in a hurry to come out of it, and as long as they are in it, more people will be joining them, and that means more victims.  

Here, let us look at the features through which Incestuous Families can be identified, it is obvious that some people may have this evils among them without knowing of it.

FEATURES OF FAMILY THAT TOLERATE INCEST AND CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

It has been discovered that, despite all the destructive consequences of this taboo, most affected families still hide it under their carpets- Living and multiplying in it. In my own town, I know of a family that is known for that. It keeps spreading.  In this Parish too, there are some of them living with this abomination. Some of the reasons why families prefer to carpet this abomination and live under it are:

*Incest is a taboo in our society, but most of these cases go underground because traditionally, African Societies are very conservative with relationships and they do not want to expose any problem happening or affecting the family unit.

*Poverty and Ignorance: If the person perpetrating the crime is the Breadwinner of the family, (like the Father), the family keeps it within themselves for fear of losing the breadwinner, or being punished by him/her.

*In some cases, there is threat of death, or spell against the victim, or the family if they expose the crime.

There are so many other reasons why many families tolerate or hide this crime against humanity- this abomination, and continue to elongate the reign of evil in their families.

I pray that after this program such families will seek for solutions to their problems so that the good things of the Lord will visit them, and Salvation will be theirs at the end of this life. This is why this program is being organized. For those who may not be aware of such evils in their families, these are the features to indentify such families:

1. Low Level of appropriate touch: in the most toxic incest families, all touching is considered taboo. Parents do not hug, caress, or cuddle their children, as normal families do. This, probably is the most outstanding symptom of incest.
2. Poly-abusive: Sexual Child Abuse is just one of a number of abuses taking place in an incest family. There may be also a history of family violence, substance (drug) abuse, and other criminal activities.

3. Duplicity, deceit, collective secret: The incest family hides its embarrassing secrets. They want to save the image of their family. The sin/evil of Incest and sexual child abuse thrive and spread most and, faster in such a family as they try to hide the shameful sin. In so doing they increase the number of generations that will be under the tenth generations curse that God laid upon those who commit the sexual immoral sins of incest and child sexual as we have read before. This will continue to elongate till somebody discovers the evil and prays for repentance, forgiveness, deliverance and breaking of curses, as we hope many people will do after this.

As you may like to know, the demons in charge of such curses will always strive to induce members of the families to get on with the sins of incest and child sexual abuse so as to continue captivating the generational bloodline of that family. This is why in such families; the sin continues to spread unless tackled. So the best is not to continue sleeping on the abomination, but to find a way to end it.

4. Rigid and tightly controlled: Incest families have rigid rules to prevent the revelation of their secrets.

5. Demand for blind, absolute loyalty: incest families usually have domineering head of household who rules the family with force.

6. Poor Boundary: Disrespect for each other’s boundaries, privacy, rights and individuality is     common in incest family.

7. Parents are immature and inexperienced in life: Parent in incest families never becomes    fully mature adults.
8. Conflicting marriage or troubled divorce: In incest families, this may refer to situations in which children are pushed into the drama between a conflicted mother and father.
9. No child for the children: Incest families are somber- gloomy, depressing, or dismal- and   strict places where the authority figure (usually one of the parents) dictate behavior for everyone else. Rather than let children run around and play, they force them into a regimented routine – orderly, disciplined, rigid, controlled, ordered, organized, uniform, governed, strict, systematic.
10. Chaotic situations, traumatic stress: Incest often takes place in a chaotic household, with unstable roots. These families may move often, and lack connections to any one community.

With these features, incest families can be identified. Note that these findings were made by Scholars of psycho sociological, psychosomatic and psychodynamic Psychology.

With this we come finally to the effects of the moral sins of Incest/Child Sexual Abuse which is our zist in laben.

THE EFFECTS OF INCEST/CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

The primary consequence of incest/child sexual abuse is the inherent (automatic) curse that flow from the act itself as we have read in the scriptures, and which begets all the other evils. This curse as we read, run down to the tent generation, which according to the traditional Jewish system of counting is 2016 years, as each generation for them is about 200years.

This means that the curse attached to incest, and all other sexual sins is greater than that placed on idolatry which is up to 4^th generations, (cf. Ex. 20: 5).

No wonder Paul admonishes us: “So run away from sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person does is outside the body. But those who are sexually immoral sin against their own body. You should know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is in you” (1Cor. 5: 18 – 19).

“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, Good will destroy that person. For God’s temple is holy, you are that temple” (I cor.3:16-17).

In child sexual Abuse, the worst is the destruction of the innocence in the child. The characteristics of virgin-mindedness, innocence, purity, forgiving spirit, meekness, humility, obedience, etc, for which a child is known, are robbed off from the child victim of sexual molestation. They are destroyed. It is these qualities of a child that made Jesus to use little children to give us examples of those to enter the kingdom of God as recorded in Matt.18:3-7.

In verse 3, He says:

“Truly I tell you unless you change and become like children, you shall never enter the kingdom of heaven” ⁴ “whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven”⁵ “whoever welcomes one of such child in my name, welcomes me” ⁶ “if anyone puts stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it will be better for you if a millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea” 7 woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin. Such things must come, but woe to the one through whom they come” (Matt.18:3-7; NIV). Verses 6-7 are the curse pronounced against the violators of the innocent ones – those who sexually abuse children.

The worst part of curses is that, while they are manifesting, the person will not know the sources of the calamities befalling him/her and the family, and it goes up to future generations, thereby affecting the future innocent ones. Again, every curse has some demons taking care of it in the person or generation upon which it hangs. St Paul says: “deliver the person to Satan” (I cor.5:3-4 NIV). This leads us to the 2^nd consequence: Demonization.

DEMONIZATION:

Sexual immorality opens a door for demons in a person’s life. This is because of the curse that is attached to it. It is the easiest way to contaminate demons, and they use it most often to catch their victims. So a sexually molested child also becomes demonized; gets possessed or obsessed by demons; becomes prone to demonic attacks. The worst is that the problem is not discovered easily. Some may carry it for the rest of their lives. They will be experiencing diverse challenges, setbacks, marital issues – miscarriages, childlessness, problems in business etc., without knowing the source of their problems.

The traumatic experience of the sexually abused child attracts the interference of an evil spirit in the child’s life which later on in life prevents the child from enjoying the blessings of God, even in the state of holiness. Remember, this does not affect the person’s salvation if he or she is living a good life.

Most of the Pedophiles are ocultic, and all pedophiles are demonic. They act under the spiritual influences of evil spirits.

A paedophile is a person who is always sexually attracted only to Children. The person is uncontrollably lust for little children.

Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent (little) children.

In the proper sense of it, pedophilia is not a learnt behavior and as such will not respond to “behavior modification therapy”.  Its roots lay in the spiritual domain as do all sexual aberrations. Probably someone in the lineage had committed child sexual abuse in the past, and the curse and the spirit of the curse continue to flow up to the bloodline.

So when such a person – pedophile violates a Child, the demon is transferred to the child. Some agents even use incest, or child sexual abuse to initiate innocent children and acquire spiritual ranks and powers.

You can get more on this in my Book “Catholic Deliverance and Healing Ministrations”. How do Evil Spirits Enter us – pgs 20-23. You can read the whole of Ch.2.

This means, among other remedies- Therapies, medical cares in the case of infection, that a victim of sexual molestation needs prayers for deliverance and breaking of curses. The pedophile and other culprits of incest and child sexual abuse, in addition to a dully contrite-hearted repentance and confessions need these prayers too.

I have personally had a prayer encounter with an innocent victim of incest. A lady defiled by her father at about the age of five. I want us to know the truth about these menaces for it is only the truth that can set us free. That is why I am teaching on all aspects of the problem.

The story:

It was in one of the deliverance programs of the Wellness for Humanity Ministry at Dabiri Ogo Village Ibadan. A woman who was looking for the fruit of the womb came for counseling and prayers. I and my colleague – Bro. Dom., were handling the case. In the course of the prayers, a male demon manifested. During interrogations, this spirit revealed to have come from the star. When asked why he was tormenting the woman, the spirit in anger said: “She is too holy. She prays too much!” This statement caught my unusual attention. I asked him: “You said she is holy, and prays too much?” The spirit said again, with anger: “E too holy. Every time e de pray, e de pray! A a!”

What a surprise! I was thinking that being very holy, and praying so much will make an evil spirit not to be able to attack somebody. So, I asked the spirit: “How manage? If she prays so much and is holy, you are not supposed to have access into her life, and be able to torment her. The glory of God supposed to be covering and protecting her so you could not come in. So, how did you come into her life?” He said: “Through the father! I came through the father!” I asked: “How? Did the father dedicate her to you?” He said: “No!” I asked again: “Are you their family deity?” He said no. I once again asked him: “How did you come through the father?” At this point, it was very difficult for him to respond. Then my friend came in with a harsh commanding tone: “How did you come in? Don’t waist our time!” With a great fear he shouted: “He slept with her!” What a shock! That is incest!

For confirmation, my friend asked him: “Is the father alive or dead?” He said he is dead. The spirit of the father was summoned and at first he was arrogant and proudly accepted that he committed the act. Asked why he did it, he said that the daughter was so beautiful. After my colleague had explained the implications, and asked him if he would certainly commit such a taboo again if God were to give a chance to come back to the world again. He said: “God forbid. It is too bad. I will never do such again.” Having condemned the evil act himself, he was told to renounce and denounce the act and say sorry to God and to the daughter, which he did. After this, my friend prayed for God’s mercy and pleaded the Blood of Jesus for the breaking of the bond, and release from the curse incurred through the abomination committed. After this, the spirit authority was over the woman was broken and he had no choice than to give way and released the woman. He was the commanded to go, and without further delay, he vanished. The woman then came back to herself like a person who suddenly woke up from a deep sleep.

After the program, I was directed to meet the woman. So I called her and asked her what she knew about her case. She said she did not know anything but, that she is suspecting that her father has some hands in her problems. She said the father was very fund of her as a child till his death; that he loved her above all her siblings, and used to buy her everything more than others, even privately. She told me how everything turned upside-down after her marriage and taking in. The husband’s business collapsed, and things started falling apart for them. She said the reason why she started suspecting the father knows something about her case was that on the night in which morning she had her first miscarriage, she had a dream. “In that dream, many pregnant women gathered with their fathers. We were coming out one by one. If it your turn, you will come out with your father. Then you will kneel down and your father will pray for you. But when it reached my turn, I came out with my father, and knelt down. Instead of my father to pray for me like other women’s fathers, my father gave me a heavy blow on my tommy. And I shouted, and woke up. The next thing was bleeding, and miscarriage. This was how I lost my first baby.” This continued in subsequent ones.” She continued. “In fact I have called my mother and my senior sister, and told them that my father surly knows the source of my problems. I told them my dreams and experiences after each dream.”

At this point, I was led to confirm her suspects. Mind you that whatever was happening during the prayers, she did not know. Though the spirit was speaking through her mouth, she was not conscious. For some people, it may be like someone having a dream. I told her a little of what was revealed by the spirit which was confirmed by the dead father. She then recalled her childhood experience with her parents. She told me that when she was very small between four and five, though they were not living in their village, the parents always went to the village on weekends, and would always go with her. According to her, there was a weekend when the mother could not go with the dad, who insisted that she would go with her. So she went with him, and that was when she was five years old. As we were discussing, the picture was going back to the time. She told me there was one night she could really understand what happened to her, but she felt something happened to her. At this point she burst into tear.

After counselling her, I persuaded her to forgive the father, pray and book Mass for him. I assured her that the Lord who remembered her that day has taken care of the problem. This woman had been going for prayers so many places, and had been coming for prayers to the Ministry. But her prayers were heard that day. She went from Lagos to Ibadan for the prayers.

*

This is a practical evil effect of incest. There are so many others. Who knows what led to the early death of this woman’s father? This was a case I was personally involved in handling. It is real.

As I list out the other effects and symptoms of incest and child sexual abuse, you can be examining your life and family to know if you are experiencing or witnessing such characteristics in your life, and, or family. For instance, the lady I and my colleague prayed with did not know the source of her problems; neither did she remember what happened to her at that age of five. The demon revealed all. It was after that that she was able to recollect some relating events. So watch yourself as we go.

OTHER EFFECTS:

1)  As I said before, the effects of incest/child sexual abuse are numerous and overwhelming. Most of the victims suffer from guilt, shame, and post traumatic stress disorder which can provoke thoughts and feelings that can take one back to the abuse later on in life.

2)  Incest is the greatest form of child abuse. One of the most destructive effects of this evil comes from the confusing unimaginable feelings it creates: the incest was bad and shameful, but the act itself- the attention, contact and foundling by an attentive parent may have created sensations that made the child feel good. As a result of this, a child of incest normally ends up with a strong sense of self-hatred or self-loathing and unworthiness.

Self-loathing (Self-hatred) is that underlying feelings that we are not just good: not good enough, not good at this, not good at that, not good for much of anything. It may be calm. We may be comparing ourselves with other persons always, finding faults with ourselves, and putting ourselves down, etc., without knowing that something is beneath the feelings. We may even be listening to some inner voices condemning and blaming us, calling us good for nothing. In our efforts to suppress these feelings of inadequacy, we start looking down on others as if we are superior to them, etc (defense mechanism).

Such is the condition that an incest child finds him/her self later on in life.

3)  Some of the other effects include: Low self esteem, depression, developmental auticism-: developmental disorder (growth is often stunted at the time the trauma first occurred), eating disorder, fear of doctors and dentist, thoughts that interfere with health behaviors and inability to form intimate relationships with others or, be authentic sexually as an adult because they have difficulty sharing intimate thoughts from sexual experiences.

4)  Most victims punish themselves unconsciously because they feel that they are intrinsically unworthy- impostor syndrome. As adults they may chose spouses who treat them poorly, careers that do not fulfill them, and make other choices that create life time of sufferings in great and minor ways.

5)  They may even be feeling that their status as child incest is all over them; as such they withdraw or go the other way. Some of them go into drugs and smoking; believing that will make them forget the past.

6)  They may develop changes in temperament suddenly – having borderline personality disorder. E.g. you may be discussing happily with the person, suddenly the mood changes, he or she becomes muddy or something like that. At such situation the person may suddenly exclaim: “I hate you! But don’t ever leave me!”

7)  They are also at risk for post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression and phobias. Some become hypersexual, become obsessed with sexual thoughts, urges or behaviors that may cause distress or that negatively affects health, job or relationships as grownups. Others are frigid and cannot let go, or forgive anyone, even a partner who they are beginning to trust in other ways. Their relationship with most people tends to be dysfunctional. This is because they have an innate sense of mistrust for people. They do not feel save in the world and so develop a secret self.

We can see that the damages are so overwhelming on the victim of this evil. But all hope is not lost. Such person can go for counseling, and through therapy can be restored to normalcy. This however, will be in addition to prayers for the healing of the whole human person – body, mind, soul and spirit.

CONCLUION/SOLUTION 

CHRIST CAME TO SET FREE THOSE WHO ARE CAPTIVATED BY SATAN AND SIN

Christ remains the only way out of these evils. Both the victims and the perpetrators of these evils are being invited to return to Jesus Christ. Through repentance, counseling/therapy and prayers both the victims and the culprits could be restored to normal human and Christian lives, as well as salvation. This is the purpose of this Talk.

If therefore, you find yourself in any of these groups – the Victim of Incest/Child Sexual Abuse or a Criminal of the sexual immoralities discussed here, and you really want to come out of it, you may meet the Parish Priest or the Organizers of this Program – the Parish Counselors. They will be able to help you and restore you and, or your family to normal life, while maintaining your privacy.

 Evang. Uchefuna. J.